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Published on January 29th, 2019 | by Kenny Lions

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Kenny Lion’s List of “Unfunny People Who Get Booked More Than He Does”

If you aren’t familiar with Kenny Lion he has been on the Los Angeles open mic scene for a while. He has been banned from several comedy clubs for various reasons.

Some things on the list we agree with and some we do not. Kenny also appears to have gaps in the list, not sure if names were removed or he had trouble keeping count.

All in all a fun read.


100. Thai Rivera IS MY 100!!!! HE A SOLID ONE 100. THROUGH AND THROUGH HE THE FUNNIEST ONE OF THEM ALL AND HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!!

99. LITTLE SWEET THANG HANNAH BINDER IS IN DANGER AND IM HERE TO SAVE THE DAY FROM ALL THE BULLSHIT. SHE SHOULD COME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN INSTEAD OF BEFRIENDING UNFUNNY NETWORKERS. MAN SHE IS FINE YO, SHE NEED SOME BLACKBELT IN HER LIFE.

98. DAMN I NEED TO SAY HI TO JULIA MACHIN I KNOW SHE SEEN ME BOMB AND ALL BUT I CAN TURN IT UP AND SET THE STAGE ON FIRE. JULIA SHOULD COME DO SOME DOWN ASS MICS, I KNOW WHERE THEY AT.

97. NIKKI BON DAMN I SEE HOW GOOD U LOOK WOMAN AND LET ME SHOW U WASSUP MAN U NEED SOME KENNY LION IN UR LIFE I MEAN IT.

96. Esther Ku IS SO FUCKING FINE MY FUCKING GOD JESUS CHRIST SHE IS SO FINE IM LIKE GOTDAMN FUCK LORD KNOW WHAT I WANT!!!!! DAMN SHE BE LOOKIN BOMB AND FUCK IM DOWN TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER FUCK JESUS SHE GOOD LOOKIN

95. ALRIGHT LAURIE DOUGLAS, IMA JUST LET U FEEL THE VIBES. U KNOW THE FUCKIN VIBES.

94. VIRGINIA COLLINS. I WOULD SHOW U THE REAL SIDE OF THIS TOWN NOT SOME SHIT THESE GAY BOYS CAN DO.

93. Kim Congdon I SEE U DATING SOMEONE BUT IDGAF U KNOW I COULD TEACH U SOME REAL ASS SHIT SURE JU JITSU IS COOL AND ALL BUT I KNOW THE DEADLY ART FORM OF NOT GIVIN A FUCK AND U SHOULD FUCK WITH A REAL NIGGA LIKE ME

92. RACHEL WOLFSON. COME FUCK WITH A LEGEND.

91. HEATHER PASTERNAK. I’D ROCK UR WORLD

90. FUCK JAY WEINGARDEN ITS BEEF WITH ALL THESE FUCK FACE JEW NERDS IM FROM THE STREETS CATCH ME IN SKID ROW FAGGOTS IM DOWN TO FADE ALL U

89. GREG SANTOS IS WHACK AS FUCK I WANNA EXPOSE THESE ASS KISSERS

88. BILLY BONNEL SUCKS DICK AND AINT FUNNY

87. SHAMAN JAHAL HAS BEEN SHRUGGING ME OFF TOO LIKE DUDE WE AT THE SAME MICS WHY U ACTING LIKE UR GETTING BOOKED ALL OVER THE CITY MY GUY U ACTIN DIFFERENT

86. STEWART THOMSON IS ANOTHER GUY WHO WAS SMUG WITH ME THE WHOLE TIME LIKE HE AINT NEVER SEEN A GUATEMALAN IN HIS FUCKING LIFE
STEWART I REMEMBER HOW U SHRUGGED ME OFF U UNFUNNY FUCK
PLEASE BELIEVE IT ILL DUST U LIKE I DID COOPER TONIGHT

85. Jared Levin. HES BECOMING A PODCASTER AND IM SAD HE JUST STICKS TO THE TRIBAL CAFE AND WONT COME OUT TO THE OTHER MICS HE SWITCHING SIDES

84. Zane Helberg. MAN I ASKED THIS GUY FOR A JOB AND HE IGNORED ME. THOUGHT I WAS SOME IRRESPONSIBLE GUY, I TRIED TO BE NICE BUT FUCK HIM AND FUCK HIS STORE AND IM GLAD IT GOT FUCKED UP

83. Sandro Iocolano DUDE I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THIS GUY AND ALL JUST HE GOT ON SOME COMMERCIALS AND STUFF BUT WHATEVER MAN IM NOT IMPRESSED AND I CAN DO A LOT BETTER.

82. Rick Ingraham SHOULD LET ME JOIN FORCES WITH HIM!!!! I DONT KNOW IF HE WAS BEING REAL OR NOT BUT I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT HE TOLD ADAM EGET TO GIVE ME SPOTS. WHETHER HE MEANT IT OR NOT IT WAS KINDA COOL BUT HONESTLY IM A COMEDIC GENIUS AND HE JUST THINKS IM CRAZY OR HOSTILE BUT REALLY IM JUST SUPER SMART AND CRAZY SO JOINING FORCES WOULD CREATE A NEW KIND OF COMEDY BUT I THINK HES TOO SCARED TO GET CLOSE TO ME

81. JOSH MARTIN IS LAME AND WE ALL KNOW IT

80. Lucas Hirl MAN CMON YALL THERE ARE A HANDFUL OF OTHER FUNNY PEOPLE IN THE SCENE AND HE GOT PASSED CAUSE HES COOL WITH EVERYONE AND THATS NOT HOW THINGS SHOULD WORK, IT SHOULD BE ABOUT TALENT BUT U ALL LIKE HIS LITTLE YELP VIDEOS LIKE AS IF THEYRE GENUIS OR SOMETHING CMON TELL THE GUY THE TRUTH HE AINT THAT FUNNY

79. FUCK ANDY SELL

78. FUCK BRIAN REGAN

77. FUCK JEFF DUNHAM

76. FUCK JERRY SEINFELD AND ALL HIS FANS AND ALL HIS PROJECTS THE GUY IS FOR U WHITE PEOPLE HE WILL NEVER MAKE ME LAUGH CAUSE I KNOW FOR DAMN SURE IM FUNNIER THAN HIM THE WORLD DONT KNOW IT YET BUT ITS GONNA HAPPEN

75. FUCK PETE HOLMES STOP GIVING THAT BITCH MONEY YO THAT GUY SUCKS FAT DICK AND AINT GONNA BE FUNNY ANYTIME SOON

74. SAM JAY IS NOT FUNNY SHES ANOTHER POPLAR OPINION FUCK ITS SO LAME LIKE THEYRE TRYNA FORCE THIS LAME ASS KIND OF COMEDY TO EVERYONE LIKE SO WHAT ID SHE SAYS NIGGA A LOT I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT. SHES LIKE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HEE SEXUALITY LIKE AS IF ITS FUNNY NOTHING IS FUNNY ABOUT TWO FAT GIRLS FUCKING ITS DOWNRIGHT DISGUSTING

73. LANGSTON KERMON. DUDE IM GONNA LIST A TON OF THE SAME ACT HAVIN ASS CLONES. THIS GUY IS ANOTHER POPULAR OPINION COMIC AND IM SUPPOSED TO LAUGH AT HIS GAY ASS SHIT CAUSE HES SAYING SHIT THAT U FEMINIST POSERS LIKE. GUY ISNT FUNNY OR PROGRESSIVE HES JUST A ASS KISSER AND FUCK HIS STAGE PRESENCE ILL SHOW U WHAT REAL PERFORMANCE IS

72. JOEL KIM, MAN THIS GUY PANDERS ABOUT HIS SEXUALITY AND ITS BORING AND HES NOT FUNNY

71. MYSTERY DAN, GOTDAMN THAT GUY ALWAYS WAS HITTING ON ME TRYNA FUCK ME AND I KEPT TRYNA BRUSH HIM OFF SND HE KEPT TRYAN GET AT ME DAMN I KNOW IM SEXY AS FUCK BUT IM NOT GAY AS FUCK DAMNNIT DAN GO HOLLA AT LUKE SHWARTY HE IS GAY AS FUCK

70. Darran Davis MAN REAL GOONS DONT WEAR COMEDY CLUB T SHIRTS!!!! HE IGNORES ME WHEN HE SEES ME STANDING OUTSIDE THE CLUBS IM BANNED FROM!!! IM LIKE DAMN DARREN I SEE HOW IT IS YO!!!!

69. April O’Connor IS DAMN GOOD LOOKIN LIKE FINGER LICKIN GOOD. WOULDNT MIND IF SHE THREW AT ME!!!!

68. SUSANA BRISK GOTDAMN U BONAFIDE FOX GOTDAMN UR A SERIOUS CASE IM TRYNA SOLVE!!!!!!

67. ELEANOR KERRIGAN I HOPE U READ THIS. I WANNA SMASH AND I WANNA BE ALL UP IN THAT SEXY ASS RED HAIR!!!!

66. KATIE VALLELY DOESNT DO MICS NO MORE BUT SHE SHOULD LET ME SMASH TOO

65. STEPHANIE SEMBARI SHOULD LET ME SMASH

64. HEIDI HEASLET SHOULD LET ME SMASH TOO

63. Nicole Aimée Schreiber SHOULD LET ME SMASH TOO!!!!!!

62. DANA MOON SHOULDA THROWN IT BACK AT ME A FEW TIMES!!!!!

61. KAYLA BERNADETTE SHOULDA THROWN IT AT ME TOO

60. Sara Mostajabi IS A FUCKIN TEASE!!!!!

59. MS. FAGAN – WHAT A BITCH JESUS CHRIST THAT WOMAN IS THE DEVIL. WHAT A BITCH LET ME SAY THAT AGAIN WHAT BITCH SHE IS SUCH AN ANGRY BITCH AND I THINK IF I EVER SEE HER I WILL TELL HER MUCH OF A BITCH SHE WAS, IS, AND WILL EVER BE. FUCK HER I AM NEVER GONNA FORGET HOW MUCH OF A CUNT SHE WAS

58. Andrea Guzzetta – WOW IMA JUST SAY THIS CHICK SHOULDA FUCKED WITH A LEGEND BEFORE SHE FUCKED WITH SOME BURBANK OPEN MICERS. YALL PICK THE DORKS OVER SOME GOOD OL….NEVERMIND IMA JUST COOL DOWN.

57. JUICE MORGAN. GIRL PLEASE GET UR POPULAR OPINION OUTTA HERE NO ONE GIVES A FUCK BE FUNNY OR GET OFF THE STAGE IM TIRED OF HEARING U TRYNA TELL THE AUDIENCE U KNOW THE ANSWER TO LIFE BITCH U DONT KNOW JACK SHIT U LIVE IN THE FIRST WORLD FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THE ACTIVIST CRAP

56. AHMED WHINEBERG – SMH. SMH. SMH. FUCK MAN U GUYS LIKE SOME BORING ASS COMEDY I WONDER IF AHMEDS COMEDY WOULD WORK OVER IN SOUTH CENTRAL. NO IT WOULDNT CAUSE THEYRE NOT STUCK UP ASSES LIKE HIM!!!!! FUCK HIS COMEDY IMA SHOW ALL U/

55. RAMSEY BADAWI. MAN I GET HURT EVERY TIME I SEE THAT GUYS NAME ON A FLYER CAUSE HE NOT ENTERTAINING AT ALL AND IM HURT U GUYS JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO MAKES U FEEL SAFE RATHER A COMIC WHOS GONNA SHOW U SOME ART. LAME OF ALL U WHO BOOK HIM.

54. BARBERA GREY. ANOTHER CHICK THAT TRIED TO DATE HER WAY TO THE TOP AND IT DIDNT WORK OUT. DUDE HER COMEDY IS SOME WHITE GIRL SHIT THATS ANNOYING AS FUCK.

53. ROB CHRISTENSEN IS A SUPER POSER AND HE AINT GONNA TRY TO ACT LIKE HE STREET CAUSE IM HERE TO CHECK THAT. ANYONE THAT WORKS WITH LUKE SHWARTS IS THE ENEMY

52. BIG MIKE IS A SCAM ARTIST

51. LEAH KAYAJANIAN SUCKS

50. JEFF ROSS IS DISGUSTING AND IM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING OUTNUMBERED BY SO MANY MORONS IN THE WORLD WHO LAUGH AT THE CRAP THAT COMES OUT OF HIS FAT MOUTH. GUY IS BEYOND UGLY AND IS A SNAKE. CANT DEAL WITH HOW MANY MORONS THERE ARE AND HOW EASY IT IS TO MAKE U ALL BELIEVE HACK MATERIAL IS FUNNY. IM THE NEW WAVE I JUST GOTTA BREAK THROUGH AND THE SHIFT WILL HAPPEN WHERE HIS KIND OF COMEDY IS OVER AND MY KIND IS IN. FUCKIN LAME ASS WORLD, PEOPLE KNOW IM TELLING THE TRUTH THOSE WHO ARE AWAKE KNOW IT!!!

49. JASON VAN GLASS – THIS GUY DISAPPEARED FROM THE MICS AND WAS TRYNA GET IN THE IMPROV SCENE BUT HES STILL SO LAME. THEY ONLY WANNA DO COMEDY FOR THEIR NERD FRIENDS!!! THEYRE NOT DOINH UNIVERSAL COMEDY!!! HE THINKS HES SO SMART AND COOL BUT GUY IS LAME AND I WILL NOT FEEL BAD FOR A GUY WHO IS A NERD DOUCHE. GUY ISNT FUNNY SO HE LEFT HE WILL PROBABLY WORK BEHIND THE SCENES AND TRY TO HAVE AN OPINION KNOWING DAMN WELL HE SUCKS DONKEY DICK.

48. Streater Kelley – THIS GUY HASNT BOOKED ME YET BUT HE BETTER GET HIS ACT TOGETHER AND PUT ME ON ALL HIS SHOWS FROM NOW ON!!!!

47. Mitchell Lamar – THIS MALE MODEL IS JUST OUT SEXING EVERYONE AT ALL THE MICS JUST SHOWIN ALL THAT CLEAVAGE ACTING LIKE HE CANT JUST WALK AROUND NAKED N SHIT
GOTDAMNIT MITCHELL DONT MAKE ME HAVE A SEXY-OFF!!!

46. Jimmy Rodgers – THIS GUY IS TURNING EVERY STRAIGHT COMIC GAY AS FUCK CAUSE HES JUST THAT AWESOME AND GLAMOROUS
I HEARD HE KNOWS HOW TO MAKE THESE LOSER COMICS FEEL LIKE MEN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES.

45. Daniel Roberto Archila – FUCK LOW KEY IM WATCHING HIM PERFORM RIGHT NOW AND HE SUCKS AND HE NEEDS TO HELP ME MAKE VIDEOS MAN HE IS BULLSHITIN DANNY U NEED TO STOP BEING SO WEIRD MAN ITS REALLY HARD TO WATCH U AT THE MICS

44. GT – GT ALWAYS LIKES TO BOOK OTHER COMICS AND HAS NEVER GIVEN ME A SHOT!!!!! IM FUCKIN HURT YO!!!!

43. Ely Wahba – DONT NEED TO SAY MUCH BOUT THIS LOSER. YALL ALREADY KNOW YO THIS IS SOME STRAIGHT COON.

42. SCOTT KIDD AKA SCHOTZO SURFER – YO I DONT RESPECT THE SWAG JACKIN THAT HES DOING TO THE O.G. SCHITZO Izo Surf AND I THINK SCHITZO SHOULD KICK SCOTTS ASS FOR TRYNA STEAL HIS LIGHT YO THATS STREET CODE!!!!!!!!

41. Kyle Henson – HE TRIED TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD ON THAT OKE POST WHERE I WAS TALKIN ABOUT MY BANNED SITUATION AND I WAS HONESTLY HURT CAUSE HE JUST BELIEVED ALL THE CRUEL RUMORS AND FORGOT THAT KENNY IS A FUCKIN GREAT GUY AND WOULD NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!

40. Victor Martinez Jr – MAN THIS DUDE IS THE HOST OF THE COOLEST MIC IN LA!!!! GARAGE MIC ITS FUCKIN SICK AND GRITTY AND AWESOME PROBABLY THE ONLY PLACE U CAN BE COMPLETELY FREE!!!! ITS EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT ON VENICE AND WESTERN!!!!!

39. Raab Russell – THIS GUY IS A1!!! WE HAD A COOL SHOW TOGETHER AND WHEN WE HIT THE MICS ITS ALWAYS FUN AS FUCK WE SKATE AND BLAZE AND DANCE AND BLAZE SOME MORE ITS FUN BEING AROUND MY DUDE A1!!!!

38. IM NOT FUNNIER THAN Punkie Johnson BUT SHE TURNED ME DOWN AND I JUST WANNA MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER. LIKE I WANNA DIP AND DIVE IN THAT THING AND STAY THERE FOR MONTHS. I WANNA JUST SWEAT ALL OVER MY BODY AND SCREAM SO THE WORLD CAN HEAR ME CAUSE SHES THAT SEXY AND GOTDAMN IM LOSING MY MIND BUT I WANT THAT PUNKIE DAMMIT I WANNNA BITE ALL THAT ALL NIGHT!!!!!

37. THE OLD GUYS AT THE 711 ON CRESCENT HEIGHTS AND RODEO

FUCK U GUYS AND UR BULLSHIT I AM SICK OF SEEING PEOPLE WHO BARLEY KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH YELL AT ME FOR NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT THEIR DUMBASSESS ARE TRYIN TO SAY FUCK THEM FIRE THEM!!!!

36. JEFFERY BERNER. – SOMEONE MAKE THAT GUY BALD GOD HE IS SO CREEPY AND HIS LITTLE CREEPY JOKES ARE WHACK AS FUCK AND IM SICK OF SEEING HIM GET SPOTS ITS LIKE THE WEAKER AND FRAILER U ARE THE MORE SPOTS U GET. HIS COMEDY ISNT INCREDIBLY FUNNY AND UR ALL JACKASSES FOR LAUGHING.

35. Nolan Silverstein – THIS GUY NEVER REALLY LIKED ME AND THOUGHT I WAS SOME STREET TRASH AND I RESPECTED THE DROMEBOX AND WAS DOWN FOR IT 100 THEN HE KICKED ME OUT FOR NOTHING. I HAVE A TALENT AND NOW DROMEBOX IS SHUTDOWN AND HE UNFRIENDED ME. GUY WANTED US TO GIVE HIM 50-100 DOLLARS JUST TO BE THERE FOR AN HOUR FUCK THAT AND FUCK HIM. HIS MUSIC SUCKS AND HIS BREATH STINKS AND HES AN ASSHOLE FOR KICKING ME OUT WHEN I MAKE IT HES ANOTHER ASSHOLE IM IGNORING.

34. IM NOT FUNNIER THAN BRIAN HOLTZMAN BUT HES STILL A JERK OFF AND IGNORES PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT TO SAY HI. FUCK HIM I HOPE HE STAYS A NOBODY FOREVER AND FUCK BEING NICE TO HIM HES AN ASSHOLE AND THERE ARE WAY FUNNIER COOLER PEOPLE THAN HIM ON PLANET EARTH!!!!!!!!

33. Michael Sofra (Mugzilla) – THIS GUY ALWAYS EATS THE BUTTERFINGER ICE CREAM IN THE FREEZER KNOWIN THATS MY FAVORITE!!!!!!!!! HE ALSO FORCES ME TO TAKE OUT THR TRASH AND ITS SOME BULLSHIT!!!!!

32. Jamar Malachi Neighbors – THIS GUY SERIOUSLY SWITCHED UP AND IS LAME NOW. I REACH OUT AND GUY JUST IGNORES ME, JAMAR UR NOT THAT FUNNY. I LAUGHED AT UR BULLSHIT CAUSE I KINDA LIKED U BUT NOW I SEE HOW LAME U ARE. JAMAR IF U WERE INCREDIBLY FUNNY U WOULD HAVE MADE IT BUT UR HITTING THE CEILING AND I KNOW HOW TO BREAK IT BUT U DONT SEEM TO KNOW HOW TO. ULL SEE WHEN I MAKE IT AND I IGNORE U DUDE CAUSE THATS WHAT IM GONNA DO

31. Brian Moses – UR GOD IS A FAKE GOD!!!!!!!!!!!U WORSHIP THE WRONG ONE!!!!!!! U ALL KISS THIS LAZY EYE HAVIN GUY OFF WHILE HE GETS PAID OFF U!!!!!!! JACKASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER FORGET HOW THIS ASSHOLE IGNORED ME ALL THE TIMES I ASKED FOR 3 MINUETS AND HE GIVES FAG REGAN 30MINUTES
WHAT A COMPLETE FAKE AND FUCK SARAH SILVERMAN TOO MAN FUCK ALL HIS FAMOUS FRIENDS AND FUCK ALL THEIR MONEY AND FUCK THEIR FAMILIES AND FUCK THEIR SHOWS AND FUCK THEM I CANT WAIT TO GET MY PAYBACK AND WATCH THEM DOWN AND OUT JUST LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW. U GUYS ARE HORRIBLE PEOPLE JUST GIVING TIME TO UNFUNNY RICH PEOPLE ITS BULLSHIT AND ILL BE OUT HERE LIVING IN THE REAL WORLD.

26. TOM GOSS – CONORS BOYFRIEND PRETTY MUCH LEARNED HOW TO SUCK DICK PROPERLY FROM HIS BOYFRIEND CONOR AND THEY ALL THINK THEYRE SPECIAL I LAUGH ON THE INSIDE CAUSE THAT GUY IS PATHETIC. JEUS CHRIST HE SUCKS

25. Connor McSpadden – CAPTAIN COCK SUCKER PRETTY MUCH SUCKED ENOUGH COCK TO GET ON TELEVISION AND U ALL THINK HES SPECIAL. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE GET ON TELEVISION, HES JUST A FUCKING HACK AND IS TRYNA BE SOMETHING HES NOT AND WE CAN ALL NOTICE IT!!!!!!!! FUCK HIS PODCAST AND ALL THE PODCASTS HES BEEN ON ALL OF THEM!!!!!!

24. CONNER MCNUT – ALL U STUPID HOES WHO WOULD CALL THIS GUY ATTRACTIVE SHOULD BURN IN HELL CAUSE THIS FAG IS A BASIC WHITE BOY U CAN FIND ANYWHERE, HE AINT SPECIAL OR UNIQUE OR TOUGH JUST CAUSE HE CAN DO SOME PUSH UPS DONT MEAN HE CAN CATCH A FADE. HE ACTED LIKE NEW YORK IS GONNA MAKE HIM FUNNIER, SORRY PAL U JUST NOT BLESSED WITH THE MIND OF HUMOR U BASIC AND U KNOW IT.

23. NOAH FINDLING – GOD WHO LET “CHAD” INTO THE MICS?!?!?!? THIS GUY IS A FULL BLOWN JERK OFF AND I HAVE NO PROBLEM STARTING PROBLEMS WITH DOUCHES LIKE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!ALL THE SHOWS HES ON ARE BORING AS FUCK AND ARE FILLED WITH OTHER ALT ASS KISSERS THEY HAVE NO REAL AUDIENCE ALL THEY HAVE IS EACHOTHER BUT IMA BREAK THAT SO WE CAN SEE HOW WEAK THEY ARE.

22. CHRIS ESTRADA – THIS IS LIKE THE 500TH TIME I HAVE HATED ON THIS GUY AND IT DOESNT GET OLD!!!!!!!!! GUY IS LIKE LOGAN!!!! PICKS HIS FRIENDS JUST TO MIVE AHEAD AND HE ACTS LIKE HES THE CHOLO OF THE SCENE PLEASE MAN I WILL LA RIOT UR ASS ANYDAY MY GUY. ALL OF U WHO HAVE BOOKED HIM SHOULD COME TO MY ROOM SO I CAN BITCH SLAP U.

21. JARED GOLDSTEIN – OKAY I GET IT HE IS CUTE AND ALL AND HAS COOL HAIR BUT I AM CUTER AND MY HAIR IS SEXIER. JARED WILL NEVER GIVE U HIS ALL LIKE I DO AND HE GOT A TV CREDIT THATS BULLSHIT. JARED ISNT A MONSTER ON STAGE HES JUST PLEASANT AND SMILES A LOT AND U ALL FALL FOR IT!!!!!!!!!! WELL I WONT CAUSE I KNOW HIS TRICKS. I WILL OUT SEXY HIM ANY FUCKIN DAY!!!!

20. EMILY FAYE – DUDE THIS GIRL GIVES OFF THE SMUGGEST ENERGY EVER. LIKE BITCH U NEED TO CHECK URSELF AND BE NICER TO THE LOSERS CAUSE THEY FUNNIER THAN U NO DOUBT. AND BASICALLY ALL THE SPOTS SHE GETS ARE FROM NERD PRODUCERS WHO WANNA BANG HER AND SHE ACTS LIKE SHE GOT IT CAUSE SHES FUNNY. MAN THEY ACT LIKE IM THE RUDE ONE, YALL ARE DISGRACEFUL AND MEAN AND CANT TAKE IT WHEN SOME HONEST GUY DOES IT. FUCK ALL THEM ALT CHICKS.

19. CHRIS DELIA – NOW I KNOW WHAT A LOT OF YALL ARE GONNA SAY, OH LIKE AINT SHIT AND WHAT NOT. PLEASE YALL DIDNT WATCH LIKE I DID, NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, BEFORE ALL THE BANNING HAPPEN BEFORE ALL YALL GOT HERE I WAS 19 WATCHING THAT GAY AND ALL I COULD THINK WAS HOW MUCH OF A HACK HE IS AND HOW STUPID EVERYONE GETS WHEN UNFUNNY TV PEOPLE GET ON STAGE. YALL DONT SEE THE HACK BULLSHIT U NOT WATCHING NIGHT AFTER NIGHT AND STAYING AROUND TILL 3AM. U ALL THINK IM STUPID BUT IM THE COMEDY GENIUS HERE UR NOT. I CAN DO THIS WITHOUT TRYING. YALL CAN ALL SUCK ME OFF CAUSE I KNOW U KNOW AND THEY KNOW. IM NOT CRAZY UR ALL JUST BLIND IM THE ONE WITH SIGHT HERE!!!!!!!!

18. MALCOM HATCHET – SEND THIS ASS KISSER HOME YO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM TIRED OF THR HACK ASS JOKES SEND HIS ASS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!’!!!!!!!!!
HE MAKES COMEDY WHACK AS FUCK AND YALL JUST WANT HIS INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS. I HOPE HE AND ALL YALL RECOGNIZES WHO GREW UP IN THESE STREETS !!!!YALL DIDNT FOR SURE!!!! U WILL NEVER SEE ME POST A GO FUND ME!!! U WANNA KNOW WHY CAUSE IM A MAN NOT A LITTLE BOY!!! IM A REAL STREET HUSTLA!!! I STAY ON BLOCKS AND CORNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE AINT FUNNY AND ALL HIS DELUSIONAL FAME IS FAKE AND ISNT REAL ANS SHOWS U HOW SOME SHOWS AND NETWORKS (DEATHSQUAD) BE TRYNA MASK THESE LOSERS AS COMICS. STOP BUMPING THIS GUY IN THE MICS
HE SUCKS.

17. LOGAN GUNTZLMAN – YO IM NOT SCARED THAT SHE DATED John Parr AND HE MIGHT TRY TO CHECK ME ON THIS BUT I HAVE TO SPEAK OUT ON THR INJUSTICES IN THIS SCENE. BEING THAT IM KENNY LION IM GONNA KEEP IT REAL. LOGAN IS GREAT AT MAKING THE RIGHT FRIENDS TO GET AHEAD. SHE IGNORES THE FUNNY NOBODIES ALL CAUSE WE DONT HAVE PARENTS WHO WORK AT TV STUDIOS OR HAVE FAMOUS FRIENDS. U WILL NEVER SEE HER AT GARAGE MIC HANGING WITH US CHILLIN CAUSE SHES TOO BUSY KISSIN THE RIGHT ASS. I NEVER KISS ASS. I SAVED MYSELF TAKE CARE OF MYSELF AND DID ALL THE WORK MYSELF. FUCK WHAT THEY STAND FOR AND THEIR ACTS. I CANT WAIT TO BURST ON THE STAGE TO GIVE AND EXPLOSIVE INCREDIBLE PERFORMANCE!!!!! ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS MONEY!!!! NEVEE GET IT TWISTED!!!!!

16. FAG REGAN – U SHOULD ALL BE ASHAMED OF URSELFS THAT THINGS GOT THIS BAD REALLY U SHOULD ALL BE EXILED FROM ALL STAGES AND THEATERS AROUND THE WORLD CAUSE THIS GUY FAG REGAN IS COMPLETE TRASH,GARBAGE,DOGSHIT,CERTIFIED HACK TO HIS VERY BEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I COULD KICK THE THROATS OF ALL THE PEOPLE WHO NETWORK WITH SUCH DISGUSTINGLY SOUNDING HORSESHIT THAT FAGGOT WANTS TO CALL “MUSIC”. ANGER CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL IT IS MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT. I WAS PUSHED ASIDE CAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY AND NO STUPID SHIT TO BARTER WITH ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE ALT HACKS FUCK I WISH ALL UR HOUSES CAUGHT ON FIRE U FAGS. GUY IS NOT FUNNY HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL THE AUDIENCE, THAT THEY DONT KNOW WHAT COMEDY IS. SOMEONE DICK SLAP THAT GUY AND BUST A NUT IN HIS MOUTH! HES NOT FUNNY TO ALL THE STUPID HOES THAT FUCK HIM CAUSE HE HAS MONEY I HOPE U ALL GET CHLAMYDIA AND THE BAD KIND!!!!!!!!!!!

15. MICHAEL LENOCI – SUCKING CHRIS DELIAS DICK CAN TAKE U A LONG WAY!!!! JUST LOOK AT LENOCIE!!!!! GUY HONESTLY HAS A HARD TIME BEING FUNNY SO HE TAGS ALONG WITH THOSE GUYS JUST TO MAKE THEM LOOK BETTER. TRUTH IS THEY ALL SUCK AND THE ONLY REASON WHY THEYRE THERE IS CAUSE THEYRE WHITE PRIVILEGED FAGS WHO HAVE MONEY. ITS TIME I DID SOMETHING OR SAY SOMETHING.

14. MADELINE HANSON – YO MADIE NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR STOMACH PLEASE STOP SHOWING UP TO THE MICS LIKE AS OF UR GOIN TO SOME SLUTTY ASS PARTY. MOST OF THE PEOPLE AT THE MICS ARE SEX CRAVED MALE LOSERS AND U SHOWING UP LOOKIN LIKE THAT U MAKE US ALL GO HOME WITH BLUE BALLS SO IMA NEED YOU TO WEAR A XXL HOODIE FROM NOW ON!!!!!

13. SIMON GIBSON – GUY TRIES TO ACT LIKE HES IMPORTANT BUT WE ALL KNOW HE AINT SHIT AND SHOULD LOSE 50 POUNDS INSTEAD OF WASTIN HIS LIFE AT ALTERNATIVE SHOWS WHICH ARE WHACK AS FUCK ANYWAY. JUST FOR LAUGHS IS LAME AND THEY SHOWED THEIR TRUE COLORS BY PICKING THAT FAT ASSKISSER. HE BANNED ME FROM SOME COMEDY FESTIVAL OPEN MIC AND IM GONNA GET MY PAYBACK.

12. DERIC POSTON – PLEASE LEAVE LOS ANGELES!!!!!!!!!!!!’!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE UR GIRLFRIEND,ROOMMATES, AND STUPID PODCAST EPISODES WITH U!!!! UR ACT IS WHACK AS FUCK AND IM SICK OF SEEING U AROUND WITH THAT T SHIRT ON LIKE AS IF UR FUNNY ENOUGH TO WEAR IT.

7. Bryan Vokey – WHO THE FUCK TOLD U UR FUNNY CAUSE U ARE HACK AS FUCK U UNORIGINAL FAGG!!!!!!!! U HAVE NO SPINE!!! FUCK U WHACK ASS SHOWS!!!! ALL OF THEM!!!!!! WHEN I GET UNBANNED IM GONNA CRASH UR SHOWS!!! ALL OF THEM AND IM GONNA HIJACK THE STAGE AND SHOW THE WORLD U SUCK AND U SHOULDNT BE ON A STAGE. FUCK ALL UR FRIENDS BITCH.

5. Joel Jimenez – SOMEONE TAKE THIS GUYS MINORITY CARD AWAY!!!!! JOEL I HOPE UR READING THIS U FAGGOT. U SUCK AND U AREN’T FUNNY FUCK UR STUPID KILL BONY SPOTS OR UR ALT FAG FRIENDS!!!! UR. NOT. FUNNY. STAY. AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!

4. Jeremiah Watkins – THIS GUY IS A CERTIFIED SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS NEVE AROUND TILL SHIT STARTED POPPING OFF AND THE ONLY REASON THEY LET HIM IN THE SHOWS IS CAUSE HE GIVES SPOTS TO GUYS WHO GIVE HIM SPOTS. HE USES HIS SHOW AS A BARTER SYSTEM. AND HIS KINGS OF LEON IMPRESSION IS WHACK AS FUCKK AND OLD AND FUCK IM PISSED HE GOT ON TV AND HE WAS NEVER THERE!!!!!!!!!

3. PAIGE WELDON – FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WILL U “NO PUSSY GETTING” FAGGOTS WHO ONLY GO TO THE SAME MICS, STOP MAKING IT SEEM LIKE THIS TURTLE LOOKING BITCH IS FUNNY OR CUTE. SHES FUCKIN UGLY AS FUCK AND ALL U FAKE FUCKS THAT TELL HER SHES PRETTY SHOULD ROT IN HELL. SHES NOT FUNNY WITH HER WHITE GIRL NERD BULLSHIT MATERIAL AND FUCK PODCASTS.

2. LUKE SHWARTZ – THIS NAME IS A COMPLETE FAGGOT TO THE MAXIMUM LEVEL. I DONT THINK PEOPLE REALIZE HOW MUCH OF A FAGGOT THIS CRACKER IS. WHEN HAS THAT FAGGOT MADE U ALL LAUGH…ILL WAIT…OH YEAH I REMEMBER… NEVER!!!! LUKE CAN SUCK Jak Knights BLACK COCK ALL HE WANTS. HE WILL NEVER BE DYNAMICALLY AND EXPLOSIVELY TALENTED. I AM. 

1.  Cooper Lyden – OK SO LETS BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH THIS NAME RIGHT HERE. WHOS BEEN IN THE OPEN MIC STREETS LONGER, HIM OR I?!?! ME BITCH ITS BEEN ME THE WHOLE TIME, NOW HOW IS IT THAT HE CAN GET A SPOT ON BRIAN VOKEYS BULLSHIT SHOW AT THE IMPROV?!?! COOPER ISNT THAT FUNNY. HE HASNT BROUGHT THE HOUSE DOWN, I HAVE!!! I DID IT EVEN AT THEIR BUCKET OPEN MIC. YALL ALL WANNA BE NICE TO EACHOTHER U ALL FORGET U SUCK AT STAND UP.


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Kenny Lions



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