General

Published on April 12th, 2013 | by Brian Moreno

0

Who Needs Mainstream News When You Have Us?

• Jenna Jameson, the XXX star, was arrested for battery Saturday night right before her birthday celebration was scheduled to start.  The alleged victim put Jameson under citizen’s arrest and then flagged down a police officer. Oddly enough this is exactly how I remember all police officer pornos beginning.

• Update –Jenna Jameson will not be charged with battery, Orange County District Attorney’s Office cites lack of evidence to convict Jameson of battery… however they did find plenty of evidence to prove her plastic surgeon is attempting to make her look like a duck.      

• Kansas City police on Friday discovered and cleared out a homeless camp consisting of complex elaborate tunnels and holes spanning 20-25 feet deep. The holes were filled with bedding, candles and lost hope. The KC police found out about the underground living area when one resident tried to sublet his “apartment w/ view” on craigslist.

• A 51-year-old Orlando man was arrested on charges that he stole a tractor trailer containing $75,000 worth of soup. A successful sting operation outside a Saltine factory let to the arrest.  

• In the wake of Buckwild star Shain Gandee’s death, MTV has opted to cancel the series. Gandee, 21, was found dead April 1 in his vehicle, along with his uncle and a friend, after going off-roading, or “mudding,” on a remote road in West Virginia. The local sheriff’s office ruled the death was caused by a mix of carbon monoxide poisoning and inbreeding.

• WWE wrestler Triple H suffered 2nd degree burns at WrestleMania last weekend. H3 suffered burns to his torso and arm after he walked through a special effects machine that was blasting dry ice to create a smoky effect as the wrestler made his entrance. Sounds like it was good for Triple H they decided to not use the flame thrower special effect.  

• On Tuesday Newark Police were called because a young child was crying and banging on the window of a parked car with the windows cracked. Rafig Gurbanzada, 32, showed up around 1:50 p.m. and said that he had left his child in the car around 12:15 p.m. so that he could attend class at the University of Delaware. It does not sound like Rafig had a white baby so I am sure he was shocked as all of you to find out anyone called the police.

About the Author

Brian Moreno is a writer, comedian and actor in LA. Brian has appeared on the shows “Antique Roadshow” and '”Deadliest Catch - Lake Michigan Edition”.

Related Posts

Kenny Lion’s List of “Unfunny People Who Get Booked More Than He Does” →

5 Things Comedians Should Stop Doing In 2015 →

Three Comedians That Weren’t Afraid To Get Naked In 2014 →

Four Videos To Watch This Week →