• Michael Jackson’s daughter, Paris Jackson, left a suicide note, took a bunch of Motrin, cut her arm with a meat cleaver then called a suicide hotline who called 911. Or as the Jackson family calls it…Wednesdays .
  • Actress Angelina Jolie announced that she underwent a double mastectomy; meaning both of her breasts got removed along with any chance of me thinking about her during sex ever again.
  • Porn Star Mr. Marcus, whose real name is Jesse Spencer, pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor charge of knowingly exposing two people (co-stars) to syphilis, a communicable disease. In addition to 30 days jail time, he received 15 days of community service and three years of probation…..A sentence that must really annoy the guy giving the probation pee test.
  • A man slashed his wrists Thursday during a live broadcast of the “Today” show. It happened as Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie were outside in Rockefeller Plaza.  The man slashed both his wrists and his forearms. NBC’s cameras didn’t show the incident, but several people in the crowd captured photos and video. And if you know anything about suicide you understand this is the most exciting thing that has aired on the “Today” show since 9/11.
  • A Top Secret document obtained by “The Guardian” states the NSA has obtained direct access to the systems of Google, Facebook, Apple and other US internet giants with a program called PRISM. The program has allow officials to collect material including search history, the content of emails, file transfers and live chats. But don’t worry, if you are reading this blog you aren’t nearly important enough for the NSA to care about your internet searches for “Hot Comedians” and “Jerrod Carmichael Naked”.
  • Justin Bieber is the latest celebrity to book a seat on Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShipTwo, destined for its first suborbital test flight sometime this year. The Bieb and manager Scooter Braun join the likes of Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DiCaprio and Angelina Jolie on the elite passenger list of those willing and able to pay $250,000 for a seat on Richard Branson’s commercial space-flight venture. And if one thing is clear, the stewardess will be the only one getting topless during that flight.
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is a writer, comedian and actor in LA. Brian has appeared on the shows “Antique Roadshow” and '”Deadliest Catch - Lake Michigan Edition”.

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