Here are some things we hear new comedians say that make us hate them.

“I am the type of comedian who does better in front of big audiences.”
What does that even mean, every comedian does better in front of bigger audiences.

“I Opened For —- —–“
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“I am funnier than him/her, how did he get that spot?”
Who cares if you are funnier than him or her, that’s a matter of opinion and jealousy isn’t going to get you anywhere if you were funnier you would have the spot.

“One day you will open for me”
Dude we are at the same open mic together.

“I’m thinking about starting a podcast.”

“We should go on tour”
You have been doing comedy for four months and don’t even have a solid five minutes, relax big shot.

“I just killed it”


What have you heard new comics say?
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